At 7:05am, it was on my heart to blog.
It's been a while since I've crafted a post this early in the morning. Anyone who knows me will tell you I'm not a morning person. But...it's been way to long. And I miss having an outlet on which to let my thoughts be free. So, I logged in and started typing.
Interestingly enough, this post doesn't have a specific topic. My mind is all over the place: excited the Washington Redskins won! Pissed the Carolina Panthers lost. Looking forward to fall, but not the cold weather. (I HATE cold weather!) I've been to three weddings in the last four weeks--brutal! Not a good look for one's wallet. I had an amazing summer of travel for work. I went to LA, Chicago and Charlotte. Love all those places dearly and could definitely make one my home if the opportunity presented itself.
I've been amazed at how in tune with myself I've been over the last year. Just re-reading the above paragraph made me look how definitive I am with things. A few years ago, I would have been far from that. Things are much more black & white. I guess it comes with getting older right? (saving that for another post)
However you sum it up, I like it. I like being able to say what I feel without the obligation of justification.
It's simply how I feel.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
Stronger
Have you ever been so wrought with emotion that you couldn't even speak? And I'm not talking that momentary kind where you're just upset that something didn't go your way. I mean true, raw emotion that leaves you speechless. In place of words...maybe tears...or laughter...or love...or anger...or happiness...or sadness? The kind that develops in the moment you realize you're in love. Or when someone you love for dies. Or when someone you thought was a true friend betrays you. Or when your best friend says something that makes you laugh until you can't breathe...the kind of laughter that heals your soul.
I recently experienced that kind of emotion.
I didn't even realize the moment was happening until I realized my face was wet. It brought me to tears. Not tears of sadness. Tears of appreciation. There are times that you don't realize how much someone or something means to you until stop and really look at it.
I'm beginning to believe my spirit is healing. My ability to feel and embrace emotion is coming back. The indifference and wall I had built put up to protect myself is beginning to crumble.
Each day, I'm growing stronger and more confident in who I am and what my purpose is.
I can't take all the credit. I've been blessed with an amazing source of encouragement, inspiration, support and love.
I hope I don't lose it any time soon.
I recently experienced that kind of emotion.
I didn't even realize the moment was happening until I realized my face was wet. It brought me to tears. Not tears of sadness. Tears of appreciation. There are times that you don't realize how much someone or something means to you until stop and really look at it.
I'm beginning to believe my spirit is healing. My ability to feel and embrace emotion is coming back. The indifference and wall I had built put up to protect myself is beginning to crumble.
Each day, I'm growing stronger and more confident in who I am and what my purpose is.
I can't take all the credit. I've been blessed with an amazing source of encouragement, inspiration, support and love.
I hope I don't lose it any time soon.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
How...When...?
How do you know it's time to move on? From a job? A person? A relationship?
How do you know that enough is enough?
How do you know you're meant to spend the rest of you life with someone? Is it a feeling? Something they say or do?
How do you know you're not in love with someone any more?
When do you know it's the right time to pass gas in front of your boo?
How do you you know it's the right time to tell someone you love them?
How do you know the best is yet to come? Especially when things are good as they are?
When do you know it's the right time to let go?
How do you know if people really have your best interest at heart?
When do you know you need to leave well enough alone?
How do you know when to tell someone you think they are making a big mistake?
When do you know it's time to stop letting other people control your life...emotions...decisions?
How do you really know that joy will come in morning?
How do you know it's time to admit you're wrong?
How do you know that just being yourself is enough?
How do you know that enough is enough?
How do you know you're meant to spend the rest of you life with someone? Is it a feeling? Something they say or do?
How do you know you're not in love with someone any more?
When do you know it's the right time to pass gas in front of your boo?
How do you you know it's the right time to tell someone you love them?
How do you know the best is yet to come? Especially when things are good as they are?
When do you know it's the right time to let go?
How do you know if people really have your best interest at heart?
When do you know you need to leave well enough alone?
How do you know when to tell someone you think they are making a big mistake?
When do you know it's time to stop letting other people control your life...emotions...decisions?
How do you really know that joy will come in morning?
How do you know it's time to admit you're wrong?
How do you know that just being yourself is enough?
Sunday, January 10, 2010
That's What Friends are For...
Friendship is a priceless jewel.
Over the weekend, I spent time with a good friend of mine as part of her birthday festivities. We had wine and appetizers at a nice Italian restaurant Friday night, I took her to the spa for mani/pedi's on Saturday, followed by a quick run to a quaint "trinket" shop to browse for a bracelet we've both been eyeing. On our way into the shop, we were chatting away as usual and she reached out to give me a hug.
Pause.
Now- my friend is a really great person. She's smart, pretty, a good listener, and would give you the shirt off her back...literally. She's very weird and crazy in her own way...but being friends with her is easy and never dull. We get along very well.
Now, when she reached out to give me a hug along with a "thank you for being so sweet...giving me your time..." message, I told her not to hug me. I reminded her it was her birthday weekend and our plans included "friend time." After we left the trinket shop, I thought about my gesture. Had she understood where I was coming from? Did she take offense? To gain some clarity, I called her and explained that she didn't need to thank me. This is what friends do...and I know that if the tables were turned she would have done the same for me. She came back with she appreciated me and didn't want me to think she was monopolizing all my time. I didn't see it that way at all! It had been at least two weeks since I'd seen her and we were long overdue for girl time.
Later that evening as we were rounding out birthday festivities at one of our favorite lounges, she told me that she wasn't used to having friends who put her before other priorities, i.e., boyfriends/relationships, work, and other life vices. She was always adjusting to them instead of them cutting her some slack.
Last time I checked, friendship was a two-way street.
I responded by reminding her that when appropriate friends/boyfriends, family or whatever could always be considered. That time is ours and we can spend it however we like. Unless it's a major emergency, everything else can wait. Many things come and go, but time with family and friends is priceless.
I'm just happy to be a positive part of her life. After all, isn't that what friends are for?
Over the weekend, I spent time with a good friend of mine as part of her birthday festivities. We had wine and appetizers at a nice Italian restaurant Friday night, I took her to the spa for mani/pedi's on Saturday, followed by a quick run to a quaint "trinket" shop to browse for a bracelet we've both been eyeing. On our way into the shop, we were chatting away as usual and she reached out to give me a hug.
Pause.
Now- my friend is a really great person. She's smart, pretty, a good listener, and would give you the shirt off her back...literally. She's very weird and crazy in her own way...but being friends with her is easy and never dull. We get along very well.
Now, when she reached out to give me a hug along with a "thank you for being so sweet...giving me your time..." message, I told her not to hug me. I reminded her it was her birthday weekend and our plans included "friend time." After we left the trinket shop, I thought about my gesture. Had she understood where I was coming from? Did she take offense? To gain some clarity, I called her and explained that she didn't need to thank me. This is what friends do...and I know that if the tables were turned she would have done the same for me. She came back with she appreciated me and didn't want me to think she was monopolizing all my time. I didn't see it that way at all! It had been at least two weeks since I'd seen her and we were long overdue for girl time.
Later that evening as we were rounding out birthday festivities at one of our favorite lounges, she told me that she wasn't used to having friends who put her before other priorities, i.e., boyfriends/relationships, work, and other life vices. She was always adjusting to them instead of them cutting her some slack.
Last time I checked, friendship was a two-way street.
I responded by reminding her that when appropriate friends/boyfriends, family or whatever could always be considered. That time is ours and we can spend it however we like. Unless it's a major emergency, everything else can wait. Many things come and go, but time with family and friends is priceless.
I'm just happy to be a positive part of her life. After all, isn't that what friends are for?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I Have no Words...?
I'm sitting here with an interesting case of writer's block, if you will. It's funny, there are times I've sat down to blog and had to taper my candor. There are times I've blogged and then deleted the post; I only need to type feverishly and get frustrations out. Sometimes, I browse the blogs of others to get a little motivation. But today, at this very minute...I'm at a loss for words.
That's something for me, because I can be a "chatty Kathy" at times. Even when I'm just listening to something, I'm always thinking, studying, processing. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is racing with random things: song lyrics, my agenda for the next day, how my momma is doing...any thing! It's the same when I wake up too. My mind is constantly in motion.
I find it all too funny when I sit down to blog, I have nothing to say (type). Lol, by reading this post, you'd think otherwise. Ah well, I'll make my way back when I have something of substance to share....
That's something for me, because I can be a "chatty Kathy" at times. Even when I'm just listening to something, I'm always thinking, studying, processing. I have trouble sleeping at night because my mind is racing with random things: song lyrics, my agenda for the next day, how my momma is doing...any thing! It's the same when I wake up too. My mind is constantly in motion.
I find it all too funny when I sit down to blog, I have nothing to say (type). Lol, by reading this post, you'd think otherwise. Ah well, I'll make my way back when I have something of substance to share....
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
"Wii Wrist"
You've heard the terms "tennis elbow" or "swimmers ear"? Well, I don't have either one of those, but I do have a severe case of "Wii wrist".
What, may you ask, is Wii wrist?
Wii wrist: when an individual partakes in the playing the Wii for such an extended period of time that the muscles of the forearm and around the wrist become inflamed and tender due to repetitive motion.
In lay terms, I've been getting my Wii on and now I'm paying for it. My arms is so sore! This is in addition to my daily workouts and teaching classes at work. Throw in typing emails and other activities of daily living and !- Wii wrist.
Here's the deal: the Wii was a gift for Jesus' birthday. Since it's been hooked up, I've been playing like crazy. It's my new favorite friend! Anyway, Saturday night I got it in- 3 hours to be exact. The cause of all my trouble: Wii Sports Resort. 12 games, everything from basketball to archery. I PLAYED EVERY GAME THEY HAD! Maybe not a bright idea, but I had a great time! I took Sunday off, but played for an hour last night when I should have been in bed. This morning my arm hurt something fierce! I let the massage therapist get at it for about 10 minutes--can we say OUCH?! She dug into my arm like she was mad at me. After I'd had all the rubbing I could stand, she told me to take a break from the Wii to let my arm rest.
WHAT?!
I know it's my own fault...but I LOVE my Wii. It's fun, and the time really does get away from you. And when you're playing against someone?! Forget it. You're talking trash, getting excited, trying to win and next thing you know your whole life has passed you by. Or in my case, you end up with a wrist on strike.
For the sake of my wrist, I'm going to behave and not play today.
Wonder how fast I can learn to play left-handed...
What, may you ask, is Wii wrist?
Wii wrist: when an individual partakes in the playing the Wii for such an extended period of time that the muscles of the forearm and around the wrist become inflamed and tender due to repetitive motion.
In lay terms, I've been getting my Wii on and now I'm paying for it. My arms is so sore! This is in addition to my daily workouts and teaching classes at work. Throw in typing emails and other activities of daily living and !- Wii wrist.
Here's the deal: the Wii was a gift for Jesus' birthday. Since it's been hooked up, I've been playing like crazy. It's my new favorite friend! Anyway, Saturday night I got it in- 3 hours to be exact. The cause of all my trouble: Wii Sports Resort. 12 games, everything from basketball to archery. I PLAYED EVERY GAME THEY HAD! Maybe not a bright idea, but I had a great time! I took Sunday off, but played for an hour last night when I should have been in bed. This morning my arm hurt something fierce! I let the massage therapist get at it for about 10 minutes--can we say OUCH?! She dug into my arm like she was mad at me. After I'd had all the rubbing I could stand, she told me to take a break from the Wii to let my arm rest.
WHAT?!
I know it's my own fault...but I LOVE my Wii. It's fun, and the time really does get away from you. And when you're playing against someone?! Forget it. You're talking trash, getting excited, trying to win and next thing you know your whole life has passed you by. Or in my case, you end up with a wrist on strike.
For the sake of my wrist, I'm going to behave and not play today.
Wonder how fast I can learn to play left-handed...
Monday, January 4, 2010
Sleepy Monday
True story: I'm crazy tired. At this very minute, my eyelids are so heavy with sleep I can barely tell you my name. You know that song "Get Silly"? That's me...silly with sleep.
Yesterday, I took a nap somewhere around the end of the Vikings/Giants game and woke up during the second quarter of the Eagles/Cowboys game. *Sidebar: big ups to the Vikings and 'dem Boys on some nasty shut-outs.* Wasn't down too long...maybe 90 minutes. That must have done me in cuz I didn't hit the sheets until about 11:30 and my eyes didn't officially close until close to 1am.
My alarm went off at 6:20am for a 7am start to my day.
What's more- it's a Monday. The first real working day post holiday season.
This may be the worst day of the year.
Everyone is dragging in after staying up late, sleeping in and eating everything in sight over the last two weeks. No one really wants to be here and everyone is trying to "look" busy to survive. It's a game really, a sick game. Who can make it until (insert time you get off) PM? The clock is laughing at me. At least there's some light at the end of my tunnel. I have to teach a Kickboxing and Resistance Ball class from 12-1. Let's hope that perks me up.
Maybe I should get regular coffee instead of decaf.
Anyone else having a sleepy Monday?
Yesterday, I took a nap somewhere around the end of the Vikings/Giants game and woke up during the second quarter of the Eagles/Cowboys game. *Sidebar: big ups to the Vikings and 'dem Boys on some nasty shut-outs.* Wasn't down too long...maybe 90 minutes. That must have done me in cuz I didn't hit the sheets until about 11:30 and my eyes didn't officially close until close to 1am.
My alarm went off at 6:20am for a 7am start to my day.
What's more- it's a Monday. The first real working day post holiday season.
This may be the worst day of the year.
Everyone is dragging in after staying up late, sleeping in and eating everything in sight over the last two weeks. No one really wants to be here and everyone is trying to "look" busy to survive. It's a game really, a sick game. Who can make it until (insert time you get off) PM? The clock is laughing at me. At least there's some light at the end of my tunnel. I have to teach a Kickboxing and Resistance Ball class from 12-1. Let's hope that perks me up.
Maybe I should get regular coffee instead of decaf.
Anyone else having a sleepy Monday?
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