Thursday, July 10, 2008

The Poll Question: Can Men and Women Truly be Platonic Without Attraction?

Well, can they?


The results:


7 said Absolutely.
9 thought Hell Naw!
5 voted Perhaps...


It's a question I often ask because I find the subject extremely thought-provoking. Not only the yes/no argument, but which gender responds on what side of the agument and why tickles my pickle even more.


*For those of you that voted, please stop by and comment as to why you took the stance you did. I'm very interested in your thoughts!!!!


Now, as far as the Addict is concerned, my vote is a combination of the "perhaps/hell naw" category.
I (want to) believe that men and women can be platonic; maintaining relationships with the opposite sex can be tricky. I have male friends with whom I hang out. We may grab drink, or catch dinner, and when it's over, it's over. I also have male friends of which I don't have their phone number, nor they mine. If I see them out, then it's all love, but neither party is pressed to be up under the other. I think the grey area (the "perhaps" end of my vote if you will) comes when there could be or is attraction on one or both parts. This takes away from the platonic nature of the relationship. Folks may not act on that attraction in fear of ruining the friendship so they keep quiet and keep their good thing. Or they may decide to put it out there and see what happens. What then?


The situation gets sticky-icky-icky when one/both parties have significant others but that's another post all together.


Now...for the "hell naw" side of my argument.


I once had a very good male friend (whom I will say that I was attracted to, but nothing ever came of it and now he's married) tell me that "no man is friends with a woman he isn't attracted to." He went on to say that men befriend women they find attractive purposely. This is in hopes that if something ever develops, it's not a question of attraction; just a question of how to proceed once it's out there.


So...if a man befriends a woman he's attracted to, are his actions truly genuine or is he just buying his time to fulfill alterior motives??? And what if she's not attracted to him? Is he just content living in his fantasy of what could be?? Fellas, don't think I'm just harping on you; this argument goes for women who befriend men they find titilating as well. In this case, I might lean more towards hell naw; if this is the case, if you're feeling froggy, leap! Might be a winner!

6 comments:

The Second Sixty-Eight said...

Well. I think what dude said was somewhat on point. If you think about it, we tend to befriend people who we find attractive regardless of the sex. That attraction is not always physical. But if you notice, you go out to the club, see (or are in) a group of women who for the most part are equally attractive.

That said, It ain't necessarily an ulterior motive when we men pull attractive women into our circles. I have a few attractive female friends who I know share that same level of attraction. Not that either of us talk about it, or do anything to make us wanna find out. But it never hurts to have someone around who "could be" should the two of you find yourself single and looking.

Platonic with attraction, absolutely. Platonic without attraction? I don't see it.

Jazzy said...

I don't think men and women can be JUST friends. I know I can, but I think most people can't. I kind of agree with your friend, which is exactly why I do not get involved with men who have too many close female friends.

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