To You and Yours...

Wishing all my blogfam a happy, safe, and prosperous New Year!

Be Blessed!

~The Addict

Holiday Hiatus

What up folk? As the holidays approach, I'm taking some much needed vaca to kick it with the fam. It's going to be 5 days of eating, sleeping, hugs, gifts and more. From there, I'll be heading to FL on business, not forgetting to add a little pleasure in between. I plan to enjoy every minute of it.

That being said, I bid everyone a safe, happy, and blessed holiday to you and yours!

Practically Perfect...

Just today, while running on the treadmill, I realized that I am a perfectionist (of sorts). There are some things in my life that will never be perfect, and I'm OK with that. But there are others that I expect to be perfect. In fact, I work to make them perfect. But when my perfection suffers a blow...hold the phone. I find that I beat myself up. And I dwell on things longer than I should. Which affects my mood. And like a dark cloud, this "funk" settles over me and I have a hard time removing myself from that state. I don't like that about myself...at all.

More to come on this topic...feel free to comment at your leisure.

So I'm Addicted

It's not just a name. Some things are "must haves" in my world. Albeit, not everyday, but every chance I get, I take a hit.

So here is it...the first among many lists, I'm sure. Just a few of the addicts addictions.

*SHOES- the number one addiction of all time. It's officially the crack in my life. Stilettos. Boots. Slingbacks. Peep-toes. Flats. I love them all. Nothing makes me happier than shopping for shoes. (Well, maybe the big "O", but that's another post.)

*Accessories- you know that line "she get it from her mama"? That's me, all day. My mother, the head Diva, gets the award for this one. Jewelry, purses, hats, scarves...you name it. I love it all.

*MAC- I think this one speaks for itself. A trip to the MAC counter can run me anywhere from $50-200. Easy. Shouts to all my fellow MAC addicts out there.

*Martinis- because I'm just that Diva. Nothing screams classy, trendy, sexy, and seasoned like a Martini. An apple martini to be specific. That's my fav, but I don't discriminate :) I'm an equal opportunity martini drinker.

*Sex and the City- OK, I was Carrie Bradshaw in my former life. I would do bodily harm for her wardrobe. I love the show's tribute to fashion, friendship and free thought. *Currently working on getting all 6 seasons on DVD. All contributions welcome.*

*The beach-my heart place. The sun, the sand, the ocean. Nothing beats falling asleep to the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. So carefree...so me. It's where I plan to retire.

*Barnes and Noble-I love to read. I've lost whole days in this store. I really have to plan my visits there. If I get here, you might have to put out an APB on my behalf. To quote my aunt, "Barnes and Nobles isn't just a bookstore, it's an experience."

*Mob movies- I'm so addicted to organized crime, it should be a crime. It appeals to my nature for some reason. It's the combo of power and respect...so sexy. Love all mob movies/shows: The Sopranos, Casino, Donnie Brasco, Goodfellas, Scarface, The Godfather, A Bronx Tale, Road to Perdition, Reservoir Dogs...yes and yes.

*Bojangles, Sonic and Chick-Fil-A-I'm not a big fast food junkie, but these are my "big 3." Especially now that I live in the north and can't get them as regularly...it's a must when I cross the Mason Dixon.

*Working out- Clearly. My major in college was Exercise and Sports Science, with a minor in Biology. I'm a Senior Health and Fitness Specialist for a major sports programming network. I coordinate the group fitness program-which means I design classes, the schedule, hire (and fire) instructors, and kick ass when teaching-, manage interns, and write exercise programs for employees. My work day sometimes consists of going to other fitness centers and working out, or educating our population about making healthy lifestyle choices. I'm certified in Kickboxing, Pilates, Ball, and aerobic training. Basically, I get paid to sweat.



More to come. Until then, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

Divine Intervention Pt.2

Ya'll don't mind if I testify do ya?

Ok...now I know the Creater works in mysterious ways, yet, I'm still amazed when I see it unfold.

15 days ago, I posted Divine Intervention (the post below this one). In it, I mentioned how this concept is not truly understood, but can sometimes lead to some awesome things. You just never know.

I have been working dilligently at my job for just under 2 years. I moved to the north from the south, which put a serious dent in my savings account. It costs a mint to live up here, so every now and then, a sista was strugglin'. I was looking to advance not only for the opportunities...but a little mo' do. Nothing wrong with having one semi-fat pocket.

I had been praying for months for the Creater to bless me with what I needed to make moves in the right direction-up. I was frustrated. I was emotional. I cried. And yet, I prayed and waited.

Yesterday, my boss took me aside and told me that my promotion request had been approved! I was so happy, I could have cut a step; but I was offsite for some training, and needed to maintain my professional composure. You better believe I was having a party on the inside.

It's been a long time coming, and nothing was better than to hear those words flow from his lips.

How's that for divine intervention?

"But they that wait upon the Lord..."

Divine Intervention?

Peace everyone.

Divine intervention is an amazing thing. People don't really understand it, present company included.

This morning, the SO and I were on our way to see the Man upstairs. We were walking to the truck looking clean! I was doing it big in a nice sweater and skirt with knee boots, and he was holding it down in a pinstripe suit, suspenders (I'm a sucker for a man in suspenders), and the Aldos to tie it all together. My phone vibrates letting me know I have a new voicemail. I check my messages to find out that I been called into work for a few hours. No big deal; except that I had to be in at 12:30. Smack dead in the middle of when I would be getting my hallelujah-thank you Jesus on. I was disappointed; I enjoy attending Sunday services. My schedule during the week is crazy, and I'm unable to attend services during the week. I'm also traveling a little more for work which takes away from regular attendance sometimes. On the bright side, I got to hold onto the money I was going to give away in church...divine intervention? Hey, it got me breakfast this morning, and I had some change left over. I'm not complaining.

What troubled me most is that one of my coworkers was irresponsible and just didn't come to work. So instead of one person working, 3 people have to come in over the course of an 8 hour day to make up for his absence. Everyone who came in had other things going on, and had to make schedule adjustments. And, to top it all off, he's a brother. There are only 2 of us that represent our side of the demographic here. He's not making it easy to dispel some of the stereotypes that our friends on the other side already have about us. I understand that he just got out of college, and he still might want to party like a rock star. That's fine; hell, I like to get my rock star on too. But not at the expense of my job. At what point do you grow up and take responsibility for your actions? I see some divine intervention in his future...perhaps not the kind he may want, but the kind he may need. Sometimes, life lessons come harder than we would like. He now faces the option of being reprimanded and not considered for future opportunities to advance. On the other hand, because of the leadership, flexibility, and manner in which myself and my coworker approached this situation, we are being looked at with more maturity, as strong leaders, and implementers in the game. That's very important when being looked at for promotions and other growth opportunities. Could be some good things in my future as a result this small inccident.

Thank the Creator for small favors...

A Little Something...

Sometimes, the best moments spent with your SO are not out in public, all dressed up, smelling good. Often they are spent at home; very informal. I'm talking wife beater/sweat pants/doo-rag type ish. No TV, no phone...just good conversation with each other. Its these moments, when your guard may completely be let down, and you find comfort in just being ...

Just a little data for yo' scatta plot.

Making love to the mind...intellectual stimulation.

Yeah, I'm addicted.

To Freak, or Not to Freak

Peace everyone.

I'm a hopeless romantic.

It's one of my many addictions (hence the name).

I think the idea of romance is beautiful. Flowers, candles, music, being swept off your feet, all that. I'm a sucker for it. I love happy endings, and if you really want to trap me, pay me a compliment. Better yet, pay me a few. I might just be putty in your hands. I really love hearing I'm beautiful, or sexy, or that I do it for you. Not that I'm stuck on myself (cuz I'm really not), but I do enjoy such things. It's all part of the romance.

I love to watch people be affectionate in public; sneaking kisses, holding hands, to see people in love. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

I know, I know. I'm a loser.

As I mature, and become more comfortable with my sexuality, I have learned that there is fine line between romance and sex. I've also come to understand that men and women have very different views on this topic. (Supposedly)Women need to be romanced in order to want sex. Men need sex in order to express their romantic side. Mars and Venus at its best.

Sex. It's the way you physically express love for another person (at least that's what they tell us). My zodiac sign is Scorpio, which is basically the lay term for "freak". I wish I could describe the looks I've received when men find out I'm a Scorpion. Their faces light up like Christmas trees. I'll put myself on blast and say that I have the potential makings of a freak. But, this Scorpio would sometimes rather have the romance then the sex.

What's wrong with me? Am I a freak for not being a freak? Don't get me wrong; sex can be wonderful. It's the greatest expression of love for someone else (or so they say). A good orgasm never hurt anyone. Maybe it's in my upbringing. Sex wasn't openly talked about in my family, but having respect for self was. I was taught to be a lady, and ladies don't do such things...or do they?

I've never heard any of the women in my family speak openly about sex. But they swoon over any guy that opens doors, pulls out chairs, and can speak in complete sentences. I call that the "representative"; you know, what you want people to see. Because behind closed doors...

Ludacris says "we want a lady in the streets, but a freak in the bed."

Is the freak becoming the new romantic?

Very interested in your comments.


~The Addict~

What?

So this morning, I get to work. My day is going fine; no one is really saying much. Everyone is just coming and going as they please, which suits me just fine. I'm enjoying not being bothered when the phone rings. I answer, and on the other end of the phone is this strained, hoarse voice. " Um....Hi, this is _______ (all names have been removed to protect the innocent)." I say, "Yes, how can I help you?" The distressed voice says, " I'm really..OWWW... in a lot of pain right now...it hurts when I move my neck, and back, or when I turn over...I didn't know who else to call, so I called you. What should I do?" WTF? You're in pain and you call they gym and not a doctor?

Pause.

OK folks, let me rewind and give you some history. I'm employed at a corporate fitness center for a major sports network. The employees that work here definitely respect us as health & fitness professionals and often come to us with "out of the box" issues. Often, my coworkers and I look at each other and laugh; people clearly think we're geniuses! While that's not a bad thought, sometimes, they fail to realize that we can't do everything. What made this person think that I could give sound advice when thy clearly should have sought a medical professional is beyond me. I can see it now...I give advice, then something goes wrong and then I'm out of job for trying to help. Hell no. I wanted to say to her "Who do you think I am? What do you think I can do for you? And if you're in that much pain, why are you calling the gym, and not 911?" Nonetheless, I advised them to seek medical attention, hung up the phone, and laughed. A laugh in the morning never hurt anyone right?

In the Beginning...

"...I don't know...I like this one. I've liked many before, but something about this one is different."


"I'm falling in love with me all over again!"

The beginning...when it's in it's infancy...when you find everything fascinating...when you hang on their every word...when you see their name in your caller ID and get excited...when you smile for no reason at all...when it's all you think about...when you count the minutes until you're together again...when nothing else matters. The addicts' definition of a new relationship.

Recently, my best friend came to my neck of the woods to visit a new "potential" suitor. As I made my way to the city to meet them, I was excited for her, for this new inspiration in her life. During our time together, I observed them closely. The way he looked at her. The way she smiled at him. The way he held her hand, opened doors, made her laugh. Their vibe was so strong and present, yet so intimate and personal. The above quotes are a few of her expressions on the experience so far. It's a privilege to bear witness to something like that. Usually, it brings you back to a time in your own life when that was you...testing the waters...figuring it out...falling...

My own reflection took me to a poem I wrote. Now I'm no poet, but I needed a way to organize my thoughts. Ironically, that's the name of the poem.

My Thoughts

I look at you, and see a sea of endless possibilities. Moments of passion suspended in the balance-our balance. Your eyes speak that which your tongue chooses not. Your touch is familiar like a favorite song, and your kiss...your kiss sends me soaring on cloud nine.

High like crystal meth in virgin veins, my mind spins; and gets caught in its own web of emotions: intrigue, excitement, desire and fear. Your arms represent my soul's protection. In our solace, time is unwavering. Your yin and my yang fuse to create a beautiful melody to which only we know the words. Time, stand still...

Call me crazy, right? But am I? Crazy to feel like this? Crazy to crave our emotional connection deeper? Crazy to believe my soul has met its mate-that you could be or are the one?

Damn. Maybe I am crazy.

Our souls speak in a language of their own. The connection is so deep, so real. The sun has just risen on our time; we're still crawling on all fours. I long for the day when morning becomes noon, and, our unstable crawl becomes a confident stride; our 4 legs become 2-one of yours and one of mine to stand together as one.

You're the blue line in my red sky; my sun at midnight, my moon in the morning. My complete compliment in every way...

I've made my decision. No more wasted time or deliberation. Simply stated: I want you.

It's a beautiful thing...

Plus One

Peace everyone.

For those who are single, newly spoken for, or have been "boo-lovin" forever, feel me.

You know the time between relationships when you've finally gotten over your former "other" and have decided to move on and do you? That's when you start rolling for self; going places and doing things solo, hanging out with the ladies or the fellas more, finally getting around the doing all the the things you put on the back burner when you were involved. You get used to that feeling, and enjoy it. You don't have your "other" anymore; no one to help you carry your groceries in, take you here and there, or simply do things to make your life easier. Comfort eases your mind and you realize that maybe this life ain't so bad.

And then, out of the blue, someone wonderful crosses your path. You become "plus one". You now have a reason to check that "and guest" box on invitations. Your standard Friday night date is no longer the TV.

This person can do no wrong. They are there for you. They listen. They want to help. They love any and everything about you. You are what makes them complete. In the midst of all this bliss, you often find yourself pushing away their acts of kindness. Why? Not because you don't appreciate it. Not because deep down, these are the things you wish others would have done in the past. You've been single for so long, it's been on you to take care of you. It's hard to let go of old habits. Often times, people have the "I have to look at if as if you weren't here" mentalitly. If you weren't giving me money, if you weren't putting gas in my car...and so on. I've met many offers with the "independent woman" response. Recently, my other checked me on it and gave me some new perspective. I'm having to learn to fall back and let my man, be my man. I'm having to learn that it's OK to let him in. He wants to be there for me. Even more, I'm realizing that it feels pretty good to have someone in my corner.

Am I happy learning to fall back? Yes. Am I becoming dependant? Not in a million years. My momma didn't raise no fool...

Comments?


The Addict

Let it Burn?

Peace folk...the addict is back in rehab. The most current addiction: desire.

We've all heard, and probably spoken the adage "we always want what we can't have." Life affords us the opportunity be on the good and not-so-good side of this adage. We see things all the time that we would love to have for ourselves: cars, clothes, money, other people. The desire to have them for ourselves is enough to sometimes push us to strident measures. However, it's not just tangible items that we long for. We desire ideas, concepts, even lifestyles. We want to be the best. Present company included, we're all guilty of it. Allow me to use myself as an example.

As women, there are many things that society says we should do. Getting married, having kids, taking care of home. Here's the twisted (or not) side to it all; women are very much in the mindset of doing these things. I'm not quite 30, but it's surely making it's way to my front door. I'm not married, have no kids, and can pretty safely say that I'm a far cry from either happening soon. But I want it. And in my original "master plan" it was supposed to happen a long time ago. I want it so badly, it keeps me up at night. But am I blinded by my desire? Am I letting it get the best of me? The desire to be a good wife, and mother is so strong; I've shed tears at the thought of it not happening. The need to be so much of what society says I should and so much of what I want to be. I've even thought about what would happen if I couldn't fulfill that desire. I'm not sure there is an adjective to describe what I would feel.

Desire is such a strong word. We give it even more power when it takes on an object. It's like a demon that has just found a host. It gives way to jealousy, envy, and causes people to do dangerous deeds to get what they want. While it desire has a "light" side that drives you to succeed, and work towards your goals in life, it makes people do crazy things. It makes you cheat on a test. It makes you settle when you think you can't do better. Desire has made many cheat, lie, steal for what they want with no regard for the outcome. All in an effort to get their next "fix"...whatever that may be.

What do you desire? Is it really worth it? Hit me in the comments with your thoughts and experiences.

I know this post may be a bit askew...charge it to the monkey on my back.

'Til my next OD...

The Addict

The Addict:101

Peace and blessings...welcome to the mind of the addict. I'm a virgin to the world of blogging, and quite unsure of how this works. Where do I start? What are the rules? Will people really care what I have to say. Since it appears I was absent the day they went over this in school, I'll make a change to the syllabus-I'll do this my way. How does that sound?

Let's see, where do I start? Since most formal introductions involve names, let's discuss mine-the addict. The black and white of it is that it's me; it's who I am, my very being. I think once, I was reading an email; you know the ones that tell you about your personality based on your birthday? Well, my month read "November- The Addict". Everyone else had names like "The Lover", "The Thinker", "The Dreamer". Where did I go wrong? While not literally addicted to anything "dangerous" (herb, mini bottles of vodka, or sex), I have danced on the brink of some unhealthy addictions. It's the way I'm wired. When I like something, I like something. This includes people. Sometimes, I'm not the best judge of character-which has gotten me in trouble. I get attached easily and have a hard time letting go; I think the PC term is "detachment issues". There are certain things I don't do because I know they aren't good for me.But the desire is there...just like voices in the head of a crazy person. It's like Kanye says, "why everything that's supposed to be bad, make me feel so good?" Trust me, I'm working on myself as we speak.

So that's the science behind the name...and the person behind it. I'm not sure if this was a good first topic; I kinda put myelf out there. They say rehab comes in many forms....stay tuned. There's plenty more where that came from. Maybe some of you will get "addicted".

In all things, do you.

Peace,
The Addict